Fear not dear readers, for I have been impossibly hard at work on a major acquisition/big time corporate money buy type of thing.

In other words.. I BOUGHT A GUM COMPANY!

Well, not any gum company, the Glorp gum company!

Back in January I acquired the defunct Glorp Gum Brand. I always loved Glorp gum as a kid, and am looking forward to getting the company back up on its feet. I’ve got a lot of exciting things planned for GLORP. Including reissuing lots of great old Glorp gum products.

To start with, I’ve 4 Classic GLORP Gum shirts, Glorpoid trading cars, Vintage Glorp gum machine sticker sets, Old school Metallic button sets, and even a hat!

What is Glorp gum you ask? Aren’t you Tired of your gum not coming with a free T-shirt? Well, the Glorp Gum family of products is here to help! Each and every piece of our hand crafted “aged to perfection” bubble gum comes with a high quality limited edition T-shirt. So when you think of gum, think of GLORP! America’s CHEW value!

So step on over to Glorpgum.com right now and check out the stuff!

Here’s a vintage Glorp Gum commercial I dug up on you tube:

Remember last year when a holiday miracle uncovered my grandfather’s long lost Christmas cards? If not, you can read all about them here.

Much to my surprise, they were pretty popular and made their way all over the world and the internet, thanks to mentions from the nice folks at sites like i09, Laughing Squid, and rebelflagiphonecases.biz. When it was all said and done, I’d sent out over 11,000 cards to people who wanted to horrify and confuse their friends and loved ones.

One of these confused fellows was a Japanese film collector named Ichiro Tanaka, who contacted me shortly after receiving the card as a holiday greeting from his niece.

Ichiro was curious to know if there was any connection between the American Christmas Devil and an incredibility rare Japanese monster movie from 1966, which was originally titled USA Holiday Devil Battles Jewish Lamp.

Official still from USA Holiday Devil Battles Jewish Lamp

I of course had never heard of any film by that name, and neither had anyone else I knew. I followed up with Ichiro and explained the story of the cards to him. Ichiro insisted that there must be some connection and sent me a package of scans of moth eaten lobby cards, film stills, and even a DVD of the only footage he has ever found of an American release of the film. I was blown away! This is a movie that no one seems to know about! I couldn’t find records of it on IMDb or Wikipedia, and the few serious film junkies that I know were as baffled as I am. Was there a connection to my grandfather’s cards?

Ichiro was kind enough to share a little bit of the history of the movie and its director, which he has given me permission to post about:

Sean Patrick O’Feeny

In 1965 a cash-strapped Irish potato farmer by the name of Sean O’Feeny convinced a Japanese film company to produce a holiday monster movie that would “enchant the blarney hearts of Catholics and Jew folk alike.”

The plot was as generic as it gets: A team of scientists create a “nu-tomic” weapon in hopes of destroying the beast Meno-rah during it’s annual eight day attack on the innocent people of Japan. But first they need to test their weapon. Where would you test a new kind of “nu-tomic weapon”? THE NORTH POLE! Obviously things don’t go as planned and they awaken the “Atomic Terror” known as Santorg. This bearded cretin makes his way to Japan, and the two beasts fight to the bitter end in typical monster movie fashion.

Why the title of the film translates their names as USA Holiday Devil and Jewish Lamp is just one of the many mysteries surrounding this movie. Take a look at the original 1967 Japanese poster for the film.

Pretty amazing, huh? According to Hiro, the cash-strapped production was a disaster. The producers, OTOH Films, ran through the entire film budget on the first day of shooting. Sean O’Feeny eventually came up with enough money to shoot for two additional days after selling his prize winning potato dirt recipe to a local Japanese sweet potato farmer.

Two days was nowhere near enough time to shoot a complete film, so O’Feeny stole a print of the 1956 film Gamera from a local film house and “borrowed” as much footage as he needed to patch together a feature movie. Only one theater in Japan showed the movie before O’Feeny was arrested for “Irish Karate” (vomiting). While O’Feeny sat in jail, OTOH films recovered the movie and finished it without O’Feeny. At some point O’Feeny was released from jail and burned down the OTHO building in a drunken stupor. He fled the country with the only surviving print of the film. Several years later O’Feeny popped up in New York City with “his” movie and gave it a new name and poster:

The film ran in New York for only a few short hours before O’Feeny again committed arson, and set the movie theater alight when the usher refused to allow him to perform an “Irish blessing” (public urination). O’Feeny was run out of town, and fled to the only place a drunken Irish firebug could call home: Florida.

Penniless, on the lam, and very ill with Irish Gout (malaria), O’Feeny finally bottomed out and traded his beloved (?) film to a theater owner from Palatka by the name of Gort Float for a “fist full of whiskey and bag of Irish gold”(teeth). Gort decided to cut all the “Jew parts” into a separate film, added stock footage of a beach party to them both, and ran them as a double feature under the titles SANTIS! And MENO-RAH! Gort refused to show Meno-Rah on his “good christian” screen, but appeased the audience by projecting the film on the dark brow theater floor.

The movie ran for YEARS in one tiny movie theater in Shunkle City, FL, and was even aired a few times on the local television station. Hiro believes that his copy of the film must have been recorded during one of those few television broadcasts. Take a look:

I’ve been keeping my eye out for anyone who might have more information (or footage) from this lost classic. If you have any leads or tips, please email me at rebelflagiphonecases (at) gmail (dot) com.

Oh! I almost forgot! As I mentioned earlier, I am offering these AMAZING movie posters as holiday greeting cards. Head on over to my STORE and pick up a set for only $5! They are sure to spread confusion and fear to your friends and loved ones this holiday season!

-Brad.

Just take A look:

They each come with one of these brand new Predanerd stickers too!

Pretty amazing right?

Due to the color issues, these shirts will not be reprinted on this color shirt, so if you want one of these shirts there are only a few left. GO GET ONE NOW!

Scope out the sketch requests I got for the first 25 preorders. I’m missing some scans, so If you don’t see your drawing below send me a photo of it and I’ll put it up here!
Thanks to everyone who pre-ordered the shirt!

ANATOMY OF THE MOGWAI!

These are by far the best looking shirts I’ve done. Go grab one at the STORE before they are all gone!

My favorite shirt so far!
This 2-color design is Printed on a dark Brown American Apparel 100% ring spun cotton shirt.

ANATOMY OF THE GREMLIN!

This 2-color design is made for all manner of after-midnight fun! Printed on an olive colored American Apparel 100% ring spun cotton shirt.

Man, are you going to look good in these shirts! Too good probably….

Anyway, This is a “SPEED OF LIGHT” presale item! This item is only available for presale until this Friday! (October 19th). So, If you want one, act fast!

UPDATE: THE SHIRTS HAVE ARRIVED AND A LIMITED NUMBER ARE STILL AVAILABLE!

Both these shirts are available along with a few other things over at the ol’ STORE HOLE!

ROBERT COP 2 shirts have arrived!

They look so good Cate had to pinch Bailey’s ear just to make sure she wasn’t dreaming!

I have a few of each size available over at the shop if you want to get one and be cool as fucking shit.

Man, these shirts came out great. I was a little bit nervous about the faked aging, but it looks spot on, if I do say so myself. The slightly off register colors worked perfectly! The shirt looks ‘cheap’ in just the right way. They look even better after you wash ‘em!

And man, oh, man, I’ll bet you wish you ordered one early and got the FREE SURPRISE! Originally I only offered this AMAZING FREEBIE to the first 25 folks who pre-ordered the shirt, but I got such a great response I decided to extend it to 56 of you lucky suckers. Of course, making 56 tiny ROBERT COP 2 action figures is a lot more work than making 25, but I figured that it was totally worth it to show you guys my gratitude for helping me make these shirts happen. You rule!

Want to know how I made 56 tiny Robert cops? No? WELL, TOUGH SHIT!

All in all, it took me about 3 days to make these guys. The first 6 people to order got the larger “Deluxe” version of ROBERT COP 2, while the rest of you fine folks got the smaller version. At one point all 50 of the tiny guys heads completely melted in the oven after their face sculpting session. This brought on a mild panic attack, but In the end I think the hand sculpted heads look WAY funnier than the original action figure heads. Anyway, enough with this boring trivia! Go buy a damn ROBERT COP 2 shirt already!

While you won’t get a tiny ROBERT COP 2, you will get these fantastic things:

And be sure to sign up for the email party so you can get in on the these cool freebies when the next shirt drops!

-B

Behold! The beautiful gut filled goodness of the Predator! This shirt is perfect for Job interviews, weddings, and first dates. Let the world know that you’re the #1 dude with this stylish shirt!

This is a 2-color design soft ink over discharge underbase screen printed on a Canvas 4.20 oz. 100% ringspun preshrunk cotton shirt in “Deep Teal.”

These shirts are really nice and soft, very similar to the American Apparel shirts that I usually use. The sizing is similar to AA shirts, but you might want to double check the size chart before you order. I would have used AA shirts this time, but this particular color was just too perfect to pass up. These shirts are going to look awesome.

NO! THERE IS STILL MORE TO BE HAD! The first 25 orders will get a FREE black and white inked sketch! The sketches turned out pretty great last time, so don’t miss out!
Did you want to get in on the discounted price and get in on the sketches? Well signup for my Email Party and get the scoop on the next shirt!

Shirts are $21 plus shipping. But wait! That’s not all! You’ll also get a BRAND NEW super secret sticker!

Click that button above to order or click this WORD

Anyway, Here are all eight episodes of Man-Dar Of Suburbia for your viewing pleasure:

The first time I heard about Robert Cop was way back in the early ’90′s. There was a tiny picture posted in the toy column of Heroes Illustrated (a Wizard magazine knock-off, appropriately enough). It blew my mind! There was nothing funnier to 12 year old Brad than the name Robert Cop. I showed EVERYONE the tiny crappy photo that some reader had sent in. I couldn’t believe it was real. It was 100% comedy gold to me, and I had absolutely no idea how to get one of my own. Alas, those pre-internet days are long gone, and now every hilariously terrible thing is just a PayPal button click away (sniff).

THAT IS, UNTIL NOW! Behold! Something you can’t get on the internet:

Advertisement courtesy of Battle Zoo

A ROBERT COP 2 T-shirt? HELL YEAH! Twelve year old me is pumped as shit right now, and you should be too, because this shirt is fuckin’ weird. Robert Cop 2 features robots from all of my favorite 90′s sequels, and now stands before you, ready to befuddle onlookers at all of the cool places that you hang out.

Fans of the Xenomorph shirt have told me that it totally bewilders people, which is just about the best compliment in the world to me. Hopefully this shirt will prompt even more “WTF” from your peers:

Still not sold on the second greatest bootleg tee shirt of all time? (First greatest). Well, here is a TINY preview of the bonus fun that the first 25 pre-orders will receive along with their shirt:

Not much of a preview, huh? Well, I’m keeping these under wraps at the moment. Only my dog, Bailey, and I know what awesomeness is in store for you, and man, are these cool. I probably shouldn’t be wasting my time making cool stuff for you, but screw it. You’re totally worth it. I’ll post next week with more details.

So, if you’re a fan of Robert Cop, bootleg toys, or absurd tee-shirts, then click the button below to pre-order this This swank ass shirt.

DEETS: This Cool 4 color design is printed on a “Sea Foam Green” American Apparel 100% ring-spun cotton uni-sex shirt. Printed using a soft ink over discharge underbase screen-printing method (no thick plastisol inks here, folks!) making this the softest and classiest shirt available anywhere on the Internet!
ONLY $22 plus shipping! All the rest of the details at SHOP!

PS There is no way this shirt will be as popular as the Xenomorph shirt, so if you want one, you really should preorder it.

Behold! Another new addition to the my ongoing series of anatomical guides to American monsters! Much like the guide to the Mogwai, this print was created to help you care for your Gremlin. I’m not sure if it’s possible to domesticate a Gremlin, but if you were going to try, this heavily researched manual would be a good place to start.

I went over the top on the details, here. I created fake over printing and ink bleeds, and used brown craft paper to make these instructions to look especially flimsy and cheap.

While I want the Gremlin and Mogwai to fit right in to the anatomy collection, I made these two prints a little bit different so they could stand on their own.

Print is 9×12 (including border)
Printed on Borden & Riley Rough finish 98 gram “Craft” paper
With Epson Durabrite inks
Signed and numbered
Limited edition of 50

$25 with FREE shipping!
Available over at my STORE!

Behold! The newest addition to the my ongoing series of anatomical guides to American monsters!

I think the Mogwai might be my favorite of the anatomy collection so far. This print is a guide to the care and treatment of your pet Mogwai, complete with explanations of his inner workings in terrible Mandarin, and the three rules that you MUST follow to keep your Mogwai manageable. I tried to go over the top with the details on this print. I used fake over printing and ink bleeds on brown craft paper to make these instructions look especially cheap.

While I want Mogwai to be a part of a cohesive anatomy collection, I made it and the Gremlin a little bit different so they could stand on their own. I don’t want to do the same thing over and over again. I like to imagine that if they were all hanging on a wall together, people would think that you spent years (eons?!) collecting weird artifacts from mysterious shops in Chinatown.

Print is 9×12 (including border)
Printed on Borden & Riley Rough finish 98 gram “Craft” paper
With Epson Durabrite inks
Signed and numbered
Limited edition of 50

$25 with FREE shipping!
Available over at my STORE!